Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

Dating after a Break Or Divorce

January 23, 2008

Have you recently had a relationship end and
felt like you couldn’t completely “move on”…
even though you want to and you know it’s over?

  And, is there something you STILL don’t
understand about what happened, why it ended, or
what his “deal” was… and even though you want to
get past it, it keeps coming up in your mind?

  Do you still think about what you could have
done differently?

  Not just so that the next time around your new
relationship will work much, much better…

  But maybe, deep down, you secretly wish that
things had worked out differently and you could
get back to that loving, connected place with the
man you were with before things went “wrong” and
he started acting different around you.

  If you’ve ever felt this way, then keep

  There are a few different break-up “scenarios”.

  Here are the 3 general ones:

1. You initiate the break up

2. He initiates the break up

3. Mutual break up: you both talk, open up and
share what hasn’t been working and recognize that
it’s time to move on from the relationship for
reasons on both sides

  Now, rarely are things this cut and dry, but
this covers the general and most common

  By the way, if you really want to expand your
perspective on men, dating and relationships, it’s
important to look at each of these 3 situations…
as each one creates a very different emotional
experience during and after.

  But, we’re not going to talk about all 3 of
these situations right now.

  Right now we’re going to look at just one…
the situation that’s often the most difficult, and
for lots of women, seems the most frequent- when
the man initiates the break up.


  Let’s take a look at the FEELINGS that come
from break-ups… and take away some new ideas and
lessons for GROWTH so that even if a relationship
doesn’t fulfill your desires, it brings you closer
to finding the fulfillment and experiences you
want in the near future.

  Here we go…

  When a relationship ends, it’s confusing and it

  But, when a relationship ends and you didn’t
want it to, that’s a whole other story.

  You can start thinking and acting all kinds of
crazy when this happens.

  And sure, some of this “processing” and being
with your feelings is GOOD…. it’s a natural part
of experiencing life and your own personal growth.

  But, think about this…

  If you look at it from another perspective,
you’ll find that even though there are important
aspects of working through your feelings about a
break-up… a ton of what follows a break-up takes
lots of women EVEN FURTHER AWAY from what they’re
looking for in a relationship in the first place –

  I mean isn’t it, at the very least, important
to take away the LESSONS a relationship has to
teach you even if it doesn’t “work out” in the

  You obviously know the answer to this question.

  Of course it’s important to learn… Otherwise,
you’re helping turn a relationship into a genuine
waste of your time, love and energy… which is
what lots of women fear in the first place when
they become close and intimate with a man in a
relationship and share their love.

  But there’s a difference between knowing the
answers of what to do… and LIVING it.

  Over the years I’ve recognized that tons of
women DON’T learn to become more successful at
creating the kind of situations they want in the
future with a man as a result of the “failed”
situations with men.

  In fact, instead of taking away positive
lessons for themselves from their past
relationships, they often use what’s happened “to
them” as PROOF or EVIDENCE to support their own
negative and limiting beliefs about men and
relationships with them.

  And, the more these beliefs about men and
relationships are reinforced, the more their own
thinking and behavior in each new situation with a

  In other words, they actually start to push
away men on an automatic and subconscious level,
even though one of their deepest desires is to be
close, comfortable and emotionally connected with
a man.

  You probably know a few women like this…
women who become even more closed off, defensive,
fearful, or even bitter the more they live their
lives and “learn” from their experiences with men
and relationships.

  Think about a woman you know like this right
now and picture her in your mind.

  Now, I want you to think about what her basic
“mindset” is when it comes to men.

  Reflect on how she’s responded to men in the
past… and the meaning she makes of things that
men do around her.

  And now, can you start to see the perspective
she has. The “filter” that everything she sees or
experiences with a man is run through?

  Can you see how quickly she leads herself to
jump to the worst possible scenario each time she
interacts with a man and doesn’t get all the
assurance, affection or CERTAINTY she wants or
thinks she needs?

  What’s going on here?

  And how does her thinking, behavior and
reactions to men affect the way she related to
men, and how men see her?

  I’m walking you through visualizing a woman you
know who’s like this because I want you to step
outside these situations and start to OBSERVE
what’s going on from a new perspective…

  A perspective that will help you more easily
create the kinds of experiences with men that lead
to deeper levels of UNDERSTANDING (for you and the
man you’re with)… and foster a deeper type of

  So… the first thing I want to do here as
we’re talking about break-ups and our thoughts and
feelings around them is to help you think through
a few of the most common EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES
that come up when a man chooses to break-up with a

  That way, you can be more CONSCIOUS and AWARE
of what’s going on… avoid the shock, frustration
and surprise of not knowing what to expect… and
take away the lessons that each dating situation
or relationship has to teach you.

  So… let’s start with how break-ups can make
you FEEL.

  Here are a few different feelings a break-up
can bring into your life:

– You might feel ABANDONED, since you felt a bond
and had a commitment with a man, and then he went
against that and went away in a way that left you
feeling like he didn’t care for you at all

– You might experience REJECTION because he chose
not to be with you… or to be with someone else

– You might have a sense of EMPTINESS that comes
from not having the love, affection, connection
and sharing in your life that used to be there

– You might feel the ANXIETY that often comes from
being completely uncertain about your future and
if you’ll ever find someone to love and love you

– You might develop a strong FEAR that you’re ALONE
and that you’ll never have a real, loving, and
lasting relationship… EVER

  Any of these sound familiar?

  These are some common things you might go
through as a result of a break-up.

  Now, most people say that you’ve got to give
yourself time to get over a relationship… and to
be with the feelings you have to get over the
relationship… and on one level, I agree.

  But, this is common wisdom. You already know

  Everyone knows you need to give yourself time
and space to get over a past relationship.

  What I want to share with you that’s NOT so
obvious, is something CRITICAL to know when you go
through this kind of break-up.

  It’s a kind of dangerous “side-effect” that
comes from the intense feelings that follow a
break-up. (Remember how you pictured a woman who
took only negative lessons from each situation
with a man?)

  And, I can’t tell you how many women (and men)
fall into this COUNTERPRODUCTIVE trap that pushes
them even further from their strong “emotional
center”… and makes it even harder for them to
find and create a healthy relationship in their
near future.

  Let me explain the story of how this dangerous
break-up “side-effect” comes about…

  It all starts with the emotional experiences
you have when a man breaks up with you.

  These feelings and emotions can be so intense
that your focus can become COMPLETELY FIXATED on
what was WRONG in the relationship.

  You ask yourself the following questions over
and over…

  Why is he acting this way, and what’s wrong
with him?

  What does all this mean about what was wrong
with our relationship from the start?

  What did I do wrong? Did I choose the wrong
kind of guy? And should I never have become
involved with him or trusted him in the first

  Where did it go wrong? Since it used to be so
good… and now I can’t understand how all that
just disappeared.

  You spend hours, maybe even days or weeks,
analyzing these questions… trying to figure out
what happened with the man and why you didn’t see
it coming, and thinking about how this all could
have been avoided… and how to never have it
happen again.

  I’m sure you’ve seen a girlfriend of yours in
this state… or even yourself.

  And, here’s where these difficult questions
start to create this negative “side-effect”…

  With your intense focus on all the things that
were WRONG, you take all the qualities, problems
and shortcomings you come up with about the man
who broke up with you… and you decide that these
are THE things that were missing and were to blame
for the break-up and failure of the relationship.

  And, so what do you do?

  You’re so hurt and intent on not having the
same thing happen to you ever again that you
promise to never be with a guy like this one

  And, you turn your attention and consciousness
in your love life towards finding a guy who is as
far from what your “ex” was like as possible.

  And, that’s when you start making the mistake of
confusing Cause and Effect when it comes to what
was at fault for your past relationship

  Mistake #1 – You start looking for a man who HAS
ALL the qualities you found from your break-up
that your “ex” was missing.

  For example, if your “ex” wasn’t a very
“feminine” man, in that he didn’t like to explore
his FEELINGS on a deep level in conversation with
you… you look for a man who is VERY much this

  Mistake #2 – Looking for a man who HAS NONE of the
qualities your ex had. (This is the flip-side of
the coin from Mistake #1)

  For example, if you’re “ex” was independent and
very confident, you might look for a man who isn’t
this way… thinking this will make your
relationship work next time around, and help you
avoid the same painful experience.

  After all, things went so wrong with this last
guy that it must be the way he was… and if you
find a guy who’s the opposite of all the “ex” was,
then things are bound to work better.

  Of course, when we take on thinking and
behavior that these mistakes involve, it really
seems like a logical plan…

  If a relationship doesn’t work with one guy and
there were problems with him, then it makes sense
to look for a guy who’s VERY different from your
“ex”… maybe even the opposite.

  But, here’s where this only hurts you…

  If you begin to consciously look for a guy
who’s the opposite of your ex, or who doesn’t have
a certain quality you want to avoid, then you’re
bound to make a big mistake.

  And the mistake will most often look like
ending up dating a new guy with very few of the
numerous GOOD QUALITIES that your ex had that you
liked or loved and worked for you both…

  But, you probably WILL find a guy who has a few
very specific behaviors and personality traits
that you think you need this time around to make
it finally work.

  In other words, you’re bound to find a guy who
doesn’t have much, if any, of the qualities that
made part of your last relationship WORK. (Of
course it’s very hard for you to look back at the
relationship now that it’s ruined and see the GOOD
in the guy you were with.)

  Odds are you’re going to find a guy who really
only has the qualities that you are looking for IN
REACTION or response to your previous situation.

  And, you’re probably wise enough to know by now,
if you’re reading this, that making decisions in
response to FEAR and PAIN is almost GUARANTEED to
make your life more difficult in the long run.

  If you get where I’m going with this, then you
already know a few important lessons in life –

  For starters, you know that looking for the
things you couldn’t get or share with your jerk of
an ex-boyfriend is NOT going to get you what you

  And, now that we’ve covered some of the “inner
stuff” to avoid about break-ups that will help you
stay in a better place and get you back on track
faster with men… let’s talk about taking the
next steps as you start to move on.


  over the years, I’ve seen that lots of women
have come to believe, even if they don’t really
see that they do, that relationships end because
of the man.

  Or that relationships would work well if men
would just learn what women knew about them.

  And yeah, I get that for lots of women, the
majority of the relationships they’ve seen end
around them have all the tell-tale signs of being
the man’s fault… as men can do things that are

  And so, in many senses they’re right.

  But, there’s more to it if you’re looking for
more than the knowledge that a break-up is a man’s

  Especially if your goal, or the RESULTS you
want in your life, aren’t about placing BLAME…
but LEARNING and GROWING in a way that will help
you find more emotional fulfillment in your life,
and create a real, lasting relationship.

  In other words, if you can learn to look at
what happens in relationships and break-ups to
learn what actually WORKS… rather than focusing
your attention and energy on identifying what
DOESN’T WORK, and the painful reasons why… then
you’re going to start to transform your mind…
and your love life too.

  But, for some women, trying to shut out what
they don’t want in their relationship becomes
their main “strategy”.

  I can’t tell you how much of a waste of time
this is for a woman looking to find a real,
loving, lasting relationship.

  You know, it’s funny how most of our minds

  I realized 3 or 4 years ago that most of the
people around me, including myself, know a whole
lot about exactly WHAT’S WRONG in the world and in
relationships.. and about what we DON’T WANT
others to think, do and say with us…

  But, most of us have no earthly idea what we DO
WANT… and more importantly, how to go about
getting what we want for ourselves. (Or showing or
teaching someone else how to give us what it is
that we DO WANT.)

  It’s then that I realized that NOT WANTING
something (being unhappy with the way things are)
has NOTHING AT ALL to do with figuring out how to
get the things you DO WANT. (Actually creating

  Read that again and think about it for a




  How does this apply to what you spend your time
and energy on, in your love life and with a man?

  Do you think about, worry about and spend your
time and energy “analyzing” how to avoid what it
is that you don’t want?

  Or do you think through exactly what it is that
you want… and consider what that means to the
OTHER PERSON that you want it from… and put
yourself in their shoes to think about how to help
them give it to you in a way that will also make
them happy and fulfilled with you?

  Take a deep breath right now and sit up
straight with your back arched and your shoulders

  Now, take another deep breath in… then out.


  To make a long story short… most of us, and
most women in relationships with men, use a few
“weak strategies” involving this idea of not
knowing what we want… and not thinking through
how to help another person who isn’t in our heads
give or share what we want, when even we don’t
know exactly what it is or how to have it.

  This exact problem of not knowing how to share
what it is that we specifically want… and
knowing how to ask another person, given their own
set of perspectives, feelings, and desires makes
it so that tons of women are RARELY able to find or
create the kinds of experiences and relationships
they’re looking for with men.

  Here are a few examples of these “weak
strategies” that I’m referring to when it comes to
trying to create the situations that will give us
what we want emotionally and in our relationships:

– Using “trial and error”. You try to fit in as
many new conversations, interactions and ways of
being as possible, hoping that something will
eventually just work – but you have no idea what
that thing will be since you’ve never found it

– “Selfish Love”. Trying to convince a man that the
answer to what will make him feel happy and
fulfilled in his relationship with you, is to
simply do more of the things that you know make
you happy and feel love and connection.

– After feeling unappreciated, or that a man isn’t
really paying attention to or understanding you,
you get frustrated and tired and stop giving much
of yourself… and you don’t want to put yourself
out there for him anymore just to help him to see
what he should already see… effectively making
it so that you’re depending on him to guess what
you want and give it to you in the way you want

  Now… what do all these “weak strategies”
have in common? And why am I having you spend time
reflecting on them and how they relate to you and
your love life?

  Because they all show how BAD most of us are at
creating the experiences, connections and
“exchanges” we want with other people.

  Especially with those of the OPPOSITE SEX.

  So, what’s one of the greatest gifts you can
take away from your break-up or “failed”


  And, of course, making things work much, much
better for you the next time around when you’re

  And, so how do you start to really do this?

  One clear way I’m taking you through is looking
at the strategies that you’ve used in the past
that didn’t work… or that even made things

  The tough reality is that most of us fall back
on the same negative or “weak” strategies in our
relationships again and again… even though we
think we’re in a different relationship and things
aren’t the same.

  That’s why becoming CONSCIOUS of your own love
related strategies is a great first step towards
CHANGE and IMPROVEMENT in your love life after a

  And, it’s that kind of “negative” analyzing we
talked about earlier that leaves you without
RESULTS and instead you have more fear, less
confidence and create FALSE conclusions about men
and relationships.


  There’s a reality to dating and getting “back
into the game” after you’ve been in a serious
relationship that ends in a not-so-great way…

  It feels AWKWARD.

  And, there’s a problem that seems to always come
up when you start “dating” again…

  It just doesn’t “feel right” at first.

  (Unless you’re swept away by an amazing guy…
in which case, enjoy, but stay aware of what
you’re really responding to.)

  Dating again can feel contrived, distant, and
just emotionally unfulfilling… as the person
you’re around just doesn’t seem to “get you” or
make you feel the same way you felt when things
were good in your last relationship.

  That’s when your next challenge will come up
for you…

  The challenge that will help decide if you’re
going to take something POSITIVE away from your
experiences… or if you’re going to let the
negative and fearful aspects of them start to
create negative “chatter” and beliefs in your

  Do you want to remain open to LOVE, and stay
present with the potentially painful emotions
you’ll have if you don’t close off or act out in
anger or spite?

  (Men will instantly sense if you have this
closed off or angry reaction going on inside you.)

  Or do you want to start living in a way that
will “protect you” if you do get close to a man
again?  Which, don’t you think will help you
“safely” find a secure, certain, lasting
relationship with a man?

  That way you don’t have to waste your time, or
risk your heart and be vulnerable again to the
uncertainty and quickly shifting desires of a man.

  It’s your choice…

  If you’re ready to start opening up again,
learning, growing more conscious, and start
getting back to a more LOVING place, then I want
you to check something out I know can start you on
a new path… and tell me what you think.

  I want you to check out my latest CD/DVD
program. It’s called “Natural & Lasting
Attraction”, and I created this program to give
you a top to bottom understanding of how
attraction and a deep, lasting physical AND
emotional connection works between a man and a

  In this program I, of course, talk about the
things most women do to take themselves “out of
the game” of sharing real connection and love with
a man…

  And, I describe not only the other common “weak
strategies” most women take on with men that keep
them from becoming closer to a man and ATTRACTING
him on a deeper emotional level… and help you
identify your very own so you can get out of your
own patterns that aren’t working with men…

  But, I also discuss exactly what the strategies
are that WORK with men that women, who are
“naturally” able to create and maintain loving,
intimate, passionate and LASTING RELATIONSHIPS
with men, use.

  There’s a way to “invite” a man into a deeper
level of emotional connection and passion with
you… without trying to convince him or argue as
you try and “make him” feel what you’d want him to
feel and share with you.

  And, there’s a way to make sure a man will never
want to truly open up, share, or even COMMIT with

  It all has to do with the EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE
you create with him at several critical moments.



All Women Are Not The Same

January 5, 2008

Before anything, if you think all women are basically the same, this alone can hurt your chances in trying to meet that right woman for you. I once attended a workshop for men on dating women (Yes, there are workshops like that.), and there was this one man who stood out from all the rest. He was an average-looking, nice, sociable guy, but he was very opinionated with his views on attractive women. He exclaimed that attractive women are basically all the same. He thought, no…he knew that an attractive woman would not date not date a guy who wasn’t as good looking as she, and if he was short. He also thought that the beautiful women only wanted the guy who had a lucrative career. He was dwelling on this so much that it even got to the point where he was beginning to think all women were like this. Little did he realize that his thinking was actually hurting his chances in ever trying to find that right one for him, whether or not he had the money or the looks, because all women would see this negative attitude in him. He wouldn’t be treating women as nice as he should be.The head of the workshop and a few others tried telling him that, but they got nowhere fast. It was pretty obvious that this guy was meeting the wrong type of women, time after time after time. If all you do is keep meeting and dating women who are either bitches and / or materialistic (just because they are so attractive), well then it’s hard not to think they are ALL like that.Look at it like this, if you are of medium height, 5’8″ and you have slightly below-average looks and you wanted to date an attractive woman, you can expect to ask at least 10 women for a date before meeting the one who will go out with you. If she is beautiful, expect that number to be at least 20. If you were in a room full of 100 beautiful women, expect only around 5 to give you a chance. With numbers like that, it is hard to say: Not all women are the same. It just seems that way. You have to realize that the more attractive, or beautiful women you approach, the better your chances in meeting that one who will go out with you. Many men would prefer to be with the cute and pretty ones instead.If you have a negative view on something, it will show on you. She will see it. If all you do is think that all a woman looks for in a man is his wallet, and judges him by his looks and his height, then that attitude will come out once again when you are with yet another woman, trying to find a stable relationship. How can any man get close to a woman and try to develop something with her when he thinks like that? If she starts doing the littlest of things that he doesn’t like, it will irritate him more than the man who doesn’t have a set conception on what all women are like.In his book, SEX-PLOYTATI0N, Matthew Fitzgerald categorizes all women as manipulative, materialistic whores who expect men to pay their way. The thesis of his book is that women are nothing but prostitutes preying on the hard work and sexual vulnerability of men. I hope this guy is writing like this to just sell books, because it doesn’t even come close to the real truth about ALL women. Yes, there are a lot of women who manipulate men, mostly through sex, and yes there are some, okay, a good many who look at a guy by what he drives and his profession, especially the beautiful ones, BUT NOT ALL OF THEM! If you think like this and at the same time you want to get married, you are already in trouble. Yes, it is hard to keep from thinking that all women are nothing but whores looking for a sugar daddy if you keep running into them, time after time after time?. Unfortunately it appears that Mr. Fitzgerald has a lousy track record with women. And that’s another thing. If all you do is choose women because of their looks and not what their personality and character is like, well then you are going to get a bitch. You are the problem, not the women. Now, it’s obvious that if you drive a sports car down the highway, women are going to look your way. But don’t we all? If we see something we like, we are going to look. So what? That doesn’t mean we are a materialistic and shallow society. And that doesn’t mean she is either. We just like looking at nice things. Men who think otherwise have been hanging out with the wrong women. Probably just like Fitzgerald. Then they think all women are like this. California is a perfect example. It’s the capital of materialism. If you grew up there, can you help to not think ALL women, everywhere, are manipulative, shallow and materialistic?In her book, WHAT THE HELL DO WOMEN REALLY WANT? (From first printing), Dr. Jama Clark also states that women judge men by his profession and what he drives. She gives the impression that all women are like this. It’s obvious to me, and should be obvious to you also that she is one of those women you should avoid like the black plague. Her thoughts on this stick out like a sore thumb. It’s books like these that brain washes a good many men. Here are some of her warped advice from her book (from the first printing.):
Women are attracted to his status.
Women are attracted to a man’s height and physical strength.
Women are turned off by men who don’t make as much as them.
If you are more than ten years older than she is, she will not find you attractive if you look older than she does.
You should buy height-enhancing shoes if you are short. THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD DO BECAUSE THOSE SHOES HAVE TO COME OFF EVENTUALLY!
If you are short, go to places where Latin and Asian women hang out. Yes, she actually stated that! I guess Clark thinks there aren’t that many short American women out there, or that ALL women don’t like short men. It’s obvious she doesn’t, so she naturally assumes ALL women are like this also. This is Clark’s typical thinking throughout her book. She states things like these because her thinking is probably materialistic, shallow?AND WARPED! Have you ever noticed an attitude like that on a beautiful woman? Clark isn’t beautiful, but she has the same mentality, so men shouldn’t listen to her ridiculous advice and viewpoints. It shows through her thinking and her attitude.If you read her book and you think I’m wrong, just go to the mall and sit and watch all the couples walking by. You will see all sorts of couples who you would think wouldn’t be together if you had seen them apart.THAT RIGHT THERE IS ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED.Now, even though not all women are the same, there are still plenty of liars and cheaters out there. You know how some men will cheat on women, and jerk them around, emotionally, and lie to them. ? Well women can be just as bad. They too can lie, manipulate and not call you back. We don’t think that a woman would do such a thing, because?she is a woman. And if she acts sweet and thoughtful around you, like a lady does, well you can be easily fooled. Then your emotional innards will be crushed after she shows her true self. You will then have that empty feeling inside of you. I know this feeling all too well, because I once went out with a very attractive woman, who I thought I was definitely out of her league. She seemed to enjoy my company though, and she even wanted to go out with me again. She was also a very sexual woman who loved sex. Well, from what she told me, anyway. I thought I was lucky to be with such a creature. I called her the next day to set up another date but got her answering machine instead. I left her a message, but she didn’t return it. I left her a second message, and again, she didn’t return it. It was obvious by then that I was being teased during that date. In addition to that, I highly suspected that the only reason she went out with me to begin with is because she had nothing else to do. This left me empty inside, because I had high hopes, and the fact that she seemed to like being with me and wanted to go out again. But, that empty feeling didn’t last long, because I realized that there are other women who are just as good looking and enjoys sex just as much as her.Another woman, who I also presumed to be very nice, also lied to me. We met through love@aol, and we corresponded via E-mail for about a week. One time she stated that she prayed for me while at church. Yes, she was a churchgoer, but not a religious fanatic. Well, with that, you would think she would be truthful. Throughout our corresponding she told me how she kept meeting men who lied to her and / or would just up and stop calling her. She stated that she really liked me and that I made her laugh, but she couldn’t completely fall for me because she thought that I may stop corresponding to her. Well, in the end, it was her who stopped communicating with me. I called her on her cell phone, left her a message, asking her to at least E-mail me, letting me know what was going on. She never did. The whole thing was very ironic, because she told me that she would never do such a thing, yet a couple of days later she did it. I never found out why she did this to me. So much for this nice, churchgoing woman who thought that I would maybe do a 360 degree on her, and, who would “never do such a thing.” So, yes, many women can come off as this very nice lady, the kind you would want to take home to your mom, but in reality she isn’t. She can be just like the man who lies to women all the time, she just up and leaves without saying why, and, will cheat on you. Even that presumably sweet woman may be seeing another guy. In the first few months or so of dating her, take what she tells you with a grain of salt. Now I’m not saying all women are like this. Just keep in mind that many of them are just as bad as men.And how can you protect yourself emotionally from these kinds of women? ? By telling yourself over and over again that not all women are like this, and that there will be a better woman just down the street from this lying bitch. There are women all over the place. You can easily find that very cute woman, with a great body and who loves sex, because they are all around you. Forget the ones who lied to you and / or treated you like shit. Keep telling yourself this over and over again, while at the same time asking other women out. Replace that empty feeling she gave you by going out with another woman. Don’t let her get you thinking with your dick. Bitches like that love doing that to men. Don’t ever call a woman more than twice. If she doesn’t return your second call, find another woman. Act like a man, not a whipped schoolboy.

Perry Rose, AuthorPerry Rose is the author of Women, Sex and Dating, for the Single Man and I Love You…Will You Marry Me?!. In 1998 he interviewed smart, quality singles and long-married couples who shared what has worked for them. The results became his two books, one of which is in it’s 3rd printing and the 2nd in it’s 2nd printing.